Waiting in the Hallway

I really wanted to call this one "Waiting in the Hallway for the Stupid Door to Open" but I decided that was a bit too harsh...

You know that phrase?  "When God closes a door he always opens a window."

I submit to you that phrase is not always true.  I believe that sometimes God closes a door and asks you to wait in the hallway with no guarantee of when he will open the door.  I believe that sometimes we are so desperate for answers that we try to pry open the window, when really God just wants us to sit in that hallway and wait...and wait...and pray...and wait...

So I think I should probably give you guys an explanation of what has been going on in our adoption lately...it is messy, so hold on.  I'm afraid this will be a long one.

Remember in February when I told you that Azerbaijan wasn't passing out any referrals?  Well after a month or so of waiting, I decided to do a little research.  In March I found this article here and this one here that both talk about new legislature being passed in Azerbaijan in regards to international adoption.  So I promptly sent an email to our agency asking if we needed to file any new paperwork.  I was emailed the next day and told "Things really are that bad in Azerbaijan. They have enacted new legislation that prevents families not from Azerbaijan from adopting.  We are asking all of our families to allow us to move their files to other countries because Azerbaijan does not appear to be a viable option for US families to adopt right now. "

...devastated.

So I immediately started prying open windows..."What about India?  We could adopt from India, Kyle!"

Kyle is a good deal more steadfast than me.  He knew that I had been doing research and had noticed that adoption.state.gov didn't have any updates indicating that Azerbaijan was essentially closed to most Americans.  After a few days of me begging him to make some kind of decision, he said we needed to figure out what was really going on.  I knew of an agency in Atlanta, Georgia that also had a adoption program in Azerbaijan.  I decided to call and ask them some questions.

Turns out Azerbaijan isn't closed.  All that those articles say...all that they mean...is that paperwork has to be approved by an additional group.  We also learned that the agency in Georgia is the only agency that is actually accredited in AZ to facilitate adoptions there.  The only one.  While our old agency didn't necessarily lie about accreditation, they weren't totally forthcoming with the truth either.

So we decided to switch agencies.  But before switching, we needed to find out the location of our dossier and translations.  So our new agency  (Illien Adoptions International) set up a meeting with the State Committee in Baku, AZ to inquire about our dossier.  They were able to find out that yes, our dossier had been there, and yes we were in fact eligible to adopt from AZ...but that they didn't have it any more...it had been sent back to our agency.

At that point we contacted the old agency and told them we were ready to part ways and would like to have our dossier and translations sent back.  Unfortunately, we only received the original dossier.  We are not sure what happened to the translations, and are hoping to get some money back since we paid to have them translated.

We are currently working on a contract with Illien...I have to say, it amazes me that they have helped us so much already and we still haven't paid them a dime.  We got pretty nervous about them because they have taken a while to get certain paperwork to us, but after some investigation over the past few days we have found that Illien is a part of the Joint Council, which means that in adoption world they are trustworthy.  The director of the agency is working directly with us (rather than the director of the AZ program), and she is a busy lady.  *Patience*  We are going to have to update the home study and the documents that go along with them, so it will still be a few months before we can get back on track.

I have to confess...I am a roller coaster of trusting God and questioning Him.  One day I am certain that this adoption will eventually be completed with a new child in our home...the next day I am ready to give up.  I've been reading and rereading the chapters in Genesis about Abraham and Sarah.  Remember them?  God told them to move to a new place but didn't tell them where.  Said He would make them into a great nation (aka...you will have kids). They went.  Abraham was 75.  Abraham promptly screwed up in Egypt.  God reminded him of the promise...Abraham worshipped Him.  God promised Abraham again that he would have children.  The Bible says Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.  Real Faith.  Of course on the very next page of the Bible Sarah tries to pry open a window by convincing Abraham to have a baby with another woman instead of her.  Yikes...But I am so glad that Abraham can have real faith one day and totally screw up the next...makes me feel a little better, ya know?  Abraham was 86 when Ishmael was born to Abraham and Hagar (the lady friend)...11 years after he was first told he would have a child.  But God wasn't finished.  He came to Abraham when he was 99 (yes, 99 is old) and told him he would have a child with his wife.  Finally, a year later when Abraham was 100, Sarah had a son...the one who actually fulfilled the promise.  Isaac.

Can you imagine waiting in the hallway for 25 years?

I know this is long, so let me wrap it up.  We are working on getting our home study updated.  We hope to resubmit our dossier in the fall sometime.  We could use your prayers and encouragement...alot.  We are asking God to move the mountain that is international adoption.  We are asking for faith, faith, faith.  We are trying to trust that "in the silence, in the waiting, still we can know You are good.  All Your plans are for Your glory, yes we can know You are good." (song...The Lord Our God.  It's a good one).

Now that we have a plan and a direction, you can expect more updates and more pictures of the puzzle. Thank you for your continued support through this VERY LONG process!  We appreciate it so much more than we can express.

I don't know what to call this blog post...

I know our updates have been MIA for a while.  To tell you the truth, there is a lot going on with our adoption, but not much we can post on a public blog.  We are experiencing many disappointing setbacks and facing some potential increased expenses.  We fluctuate several times daily it seems between joyfully trusting God, and crumbling under the disappointment and frustration of knowing we have accomplished what seems like nothing over the last 7 months.  Our dossier is sitting on the kitchen table again. And we are in the process of moving to a new placing agency.  Because so much time has passed, we are unsure of how much of the paperwork may have to be redone and then notarized and apostilled again.

Soooo, pray for us.  We really need it.  We miss the child we haven't met.  We are determined to push forward, though.  We may not always understand why things happen the way they do, and we certainly feel frustrated and discouraged at times (lots of times), but we trust that God knew this was coming and sent us anyway.  He is in control of all of this and He knows our child, even though we don't.  Just to add an extra boost to our faith, He sent an encouraging card and a generous donation by way of some sweet friends yesterday.  How can we doubt that this will work out when He is constantly reminding us that He has this?!

In other news, since I haven't been posting updates, we still have a ways to go on the puzzle!!  Want to contribute?  You can use the pay pal button above, or give us the money in person, or stick it in the mail.  Here is a picture of what we have so far:

Exciting!  But still a long way to go!  Remember, each piece is $3.  We hope to raise a little over $3,000 with this fundraiser.

Also...Happy Mother's Day!!  Kyle brought tears to my eyes with this sweet gift he gave me yesterday:

It is the adoption Willow Tree figure.  Bittersweet gift.  Kyle told me he bought it at Christmas time, planning to give it to me for mother's day either from our little one or maybe with a picture of our little one...because we really thought we would know him/her by now.

Gracious...I've gone from discouraged to joyfully trusting and back to discouraged at least three times just in typing this blog post.  Did I mention that we could use your prayers?  Here is the verse Kyle texted me today:

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."

Let it be so.

Waiting

We found out on Monday that Azerbaijan is not passing out any referrals right now.  Basically there have been families who adopted from AZ previously and are not sending in the post placement reports.  Post placement reports are sent to the child's birth country so the country knows you are taking good care of the child.  Without these reports, a country like Azerbaijan has no way of knowing if the kids are in a good place.  Because some families have not been diligent in sending these reports, Azerbaijan has launched an investigation.  Our agency has told us that they have not seen any referrals come out of AZ since the investigation began.  We do know that our dossier is in Azerbaijan, has been translated, and the country is aware that we are waiting for a referral.  There is no way to know how long Azerbaijani adoptions will be on hold.

*sigh*

The hardest part about adoption is the question mark.  When I was pregnant with Matthew, I knew there was an "expiration date!"  I knew that once my due date hit, it was only a matter of two weeks before they would MAKE Matthew arrive!!!  Unfortunately, there are no due dates with adoption.

God has put this verse on my heart, and I am holding on to it tightly:

Wait for the Lord;  

be strong and take heart; 

wait for the Lord.  

Psalm 27:14

Kyle and I are not ready to jump ship on Azerbaijan.  We have only been waiting 4 months, and we are going to stick it out with AZ as long as we feel it is where God wants us to adopt from.  We are going to trust God's timeline and wait for Him.  Would you pray for us to have patience, faith, and joy as we wait?

As we are waiting, we are continuing to work on the puzzle fundraiser.  Check out these pictures!

 January 26, 2014

 February 2, 2014

 February 13, 2014

And here is the amazing snow man we built with some of our friends on Thursday:

It is hard to tell in this picture, but he is almost 6 feet tall!!!  Alabama friends, feel free to leave a comment about how jealous you are! ;)

3 months and 11 days

We've been waiting 3 months and 11 days.  3 months out of...??

The first two months were pretty easy.  I mean, we sent our paperwork October 10.  After that we were busy, busy with school and church...then the holidays.  But I have to tell you.  These last few days are driving me a bit crazy!  It isn't that I am impatient to get our kiddo home (although of course we want him/her here as soon as possible).  I totally trust God's timing.  I know that he knows when and who and how.  I don't want to change his timeline.

I just would really really like to KNOW the timeline...ya know?!?!

Anyway, enough complaining...Let me tell you what we are doing to keep busy!

I found this blog a while back written by a lady from Azerbaijan.  She is currently living in California, but recently took a trip back to Azerbaijan to visit family.  I check her blog often because I love to see the authentic recipes from her home country and I am fascinated by the photographs she posts of the place our child is coming from.

Meanwhile, Kyle and I have been discussing our next fundraiser for several months now.  Enough of you know others who have adopted or are adopting, so I'm sure many of you have heard of the puzzle fundraiser.  In case you haven't, let me fill you in.  Basically the adopting family buys a puzzle and then other people sponsor a piece of the puzzle for a certain amount.  As each piece is sponsored, the family writes the sponsor's name on the back and begins to assemble the puzzle.  All money donated goes to help fund the adoption.  When the puzzle is fully funded and assembled, the adopting family frames it in a frame with glass on both sides and hangs it in the child's room or in the home as a reminder of how many people contributed to making the adoption happen.

We really wanted a picture that would be meaningful and fit in our home long after the adoption is complete.  It took a while for the idea to come to us, but one day as I was looking at the pictures on Feride's blog, I thought, "HEY! A picture from Azerbaijan!"  Kyle took some time to look at all of the pictures and found one he really liked.  I emailed Feride and asked for permission to use her picture and she graciously agreed.  Kyle had a friend from work edit and add this verse:

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  John 14:18

We were able to order the puzzle a couple of weeks ago and it finally arrived!!  Once it is assembled, this is what it will look like:

The puzzle has 1,008 pieces.  After much prayer and discussion with family and friends, we have decided to ask for $3 per piece.  When the puzzle is finished, we will be $3,024 closer to having our adoption fully funded!

So, the question is:  Will you help? You can sponsor as many pieces as you feel led to sponsor.  You can sponsor as a family, as an individual, as a group of people.  We would love your help in this!

If you are interested in sponsoring a piece, there are a few ways to get your money to us.  If you live in Virginia and see us alllll the time, you can just hand it too us...cash or check :)  If you live far away, you can send us an email or Facebook message and we can give you our mailing address.  OR near or far, you can also use the Paypal donation button at the top right hand corner of this page to donate.  Just be sure to leave your name when you "check out" using the Paypal button...otherwise we won't know who donated!!

Oh!  One more thing:  we really wanted those of you who have already donated to know that we don't at all expect you to give more.  We are planning to write names around the frame of people who donated money before the fundraiser...although if you want to sponsor a puzzle piece, too, we won't argue. ;)

AND to the person/people who gave that one anonymous donation...you know who you are, and we wish we did.  You will be remembered, even if we don't know your name!

We will keep everyone posted on the progress of the puzzle!

All Mixed Up

We have been on a little bit of an emotional roller coaster lately.

Stress...tying up loose ends at school and church, Christmas parties, buying gifts, cleaning, Christmas parties, packing, Christmas parties...

Excitement...Christmas with a two year old!  Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

Peace...Understanding the true meaning of Christmas.  Reading about Christ's birth in the Bible.  Attending the Christmas Eve service.

Sadness...looking at the extra stocking hanging above our fireplace...wondering if our little one will be home for next Christmas.

Disgusted...Matthew vomited all over the car and even in Becca's face.  Nope, not exaggerating.  FACE.

Exhausted...A 10 hour trip to Alabama on Christmas Day.

JOY!!!Meeting my newly adopted sister for the first time.  Hugging her, talking to her, playing with her, eating with her, catching up on almost 9 years of lost time.

Happiness...Spending time with family and friends for an entire week.

Exhaustion...A 15 hour trip back to Virginia by way of North Carolina (happiness seeing more family).

Sorrow...hearing of my (Becca) Memaw's death on New Years Day.

Exhaustion...unpack, laundry, dishes, buy a black dress, more laundry, text family, laundry, call family, laundry, move doctor appointment, email bosses, find someone to take nursery duty, fold laundry, haircut (best part of the day...thanks, Brooke!), pick up the munchkin from the fabulous babysitter (that might have been the best part of the day actually...Thanks, Lenora!), pizza, play with trains, fold more laundry, bath time, bed time, pack, pack, pack

I am not looking forward to another 10 hour trip tomorrow, followed by the return trip on Monday.

I am not looking forward to attending my Memaw's funeral.

I am looking forward to more time with my new sister and my sweet niece, who I rarely get to see.

I am looking forward to seeing my cousins...I think the last time we were all together was 12 years ago, at PawPaw's funeral...is that right?

I can't wait to meet my...ummm 1st cousin once removed??  (My cousin's kid)

And I will be totally honest with all of you people...I will miss my Memaw, but I believe that she is finally with PawPaw and in a much better place.  For the first time in...a very long time...she is healthy and whole and worshiping God in His very presence.  I can't help but smile, thinking about that.

Sooo, I'm going to sit here on the couch for a little while, pretend to watch the Sugar Bowl, actually watch the snow fall, and let God deal with my jumble of emotions.

Adoption "Pregnant"

Done.
Finished!

We received the last of our paperwork, got everything apostilled, sent it to our agency, and we are completely done!

Not only that, but our dossier (paperwork) is actually on it's way to Azerbaijan!!

Whew!

We are thrilled, but nervous.  Well...I don't know if Kyle is nervous...might just be me ;)

According to our agency's website, most families can expect to receive a referral within 9 months!!  Who knows what that means?!?!!  We could receive a referral in 3,6,9 months...longer?  You know how good I am at the unknown...right?

What happens now? We wait.  We fill out grant and loan applications.  We wait.  We pray.  We do fundraisers. We wait.

And one day we will receive the referral!  Oh what a day that will be!

Please continue to pray for us!  Pray that God would provide the funds we need.  Pray that God would give us patience as we wait!  Pray that He would begin to prepare Matthew to have a brother or sister!  And pray for our little one!

Now THAT'S what I call a YARD SALE!

In our last post we asked you to bring us stuff...and to say that you came through is an understatement! 

I mean, the pile above is a tiny FRACTION of what you donated to our family!  By the night before the yard sale our dining room, living room, and garage were completely full of allllll your stuff!  I won't lie...I was a little overwhelmed.  I mean, let's all be honest for a minute...Kyle and I aren't the cleanest people in the world, but that much clutter was almost my undoing!  Fortunately, I have many people in my life who were quick to remind me the purpose behind the piles and piles of donations.  A child.

So we set to work.  Many people came by to help sort and price items.  The night before the sale we put clothes on hangers and set up the clothing racks we borrowed from our church.  We hung signs around town and picked up last minute donations.  And we slept...a little.

The day of the sale we started SUPER early.  Kyle and I set our alarm for 4:15am.  Friends joined us as early as 5:15.  We pulled everything out of the house and set up in the darkness.  "Yard Salers"started showing up at 5:45 WITH FLASHLIGHTS to go shopping.  By about 7:30 we had a constant stream of about 30 people in the yard at a time!  9:30 rolled around, and there were still 30 people in the yard at a time!  The sail boat sold.  The rugs sold.  Books.  Clothes.  Kitchen items.  Decor.  Furniture.

There were even baked goods for sale!

And middle schoolers, too!

Just kidding...they were there to help ;)

Matthew's best buddy came over to play while his parents worked alongside us.  Our fantastic babysitter worked for free and kept the boys *mostly* out of trouble!

At the end of the first day, we still had tons of stuff, although our total had already surpassed our dream goal.  The flow on Sunday was significantly slower, but still worth the time.  We did about $400 worth of sales on the second day.   And the grand total??

$4,555.73

I can't even.  I don't know what to say.  Except thank you.

Thank you to the people who donated.  No matter how big or small, it made a huge difference.

Thank you to the people who encouraged me when I was overwhelmed.

Thank you to the people who helped to sort and price.  I never would have finished without you.

Thank you to the people who made signs and posted ads.

Thank you to the people who lifted furniture and let us use their trucks.

Thank you to the people who woke up well before the sun and helped set up before the caffeine had fully entered your blood stream...

Thank you to the people who showed up to barter and bargain on our behalf.

Thank you to the people who cooked goodies for us to sale.

Thank you to the middle schoolers who woke up WAY before you usually do, knowing you wouldn't get anything in return.

Thank you to those who donated way more money than what you purchased.

Thank you to those who stuck it out till the end and helped us clean up after it was all over.

Thank you to those who prayed.  All across the country you prayed for success in our sale.  And God answered.

I want to be clear on this.  Every single one of you has taken a part of giving a child a family.  No matter how big or small you feel your part was, it makes all the difference in the world to us and to a child.  Thank you so very much.