At one point I had a list of the lists I needed to make.
I might be a little crazy.
Now I have the lists.
There is the “stuff to do before the home inspection” list.
The “stuff to do when we get the call” list.
The “things Rex will need while we are gone” list (Hint: He is the dog).
The “things to figure out” list.
The “things we need to buy now that there will be a girl child in the house” list.
The “things I want to tell the world on the blog” list.
AND of course the PACKING LIST.
My head is in the clouds. I had to take a couple of days off from all the lists because I started to have a meltdown because of all the lists and who knows when the lists have to be done??? You get the picture? It wasn’t pretty. I prefer to have my act together, so when I fall apart it is epic. Poor Kyle…
ANYWAY the lists are ever growing but I’m feeling better about it today.
This morning I woke up and she was right there at the front of my mind as if she had come into my room and tapped me on the arm. Eliana. Sweet girl, we are coming!
It’s hard not to dream of when we first see her, of when she becomes ours. But in truth, we can’t predict or choose how those moments will go. Think of any typical 18 month old. This one spent more than a year of her life in an orphanage. Then, for 4 months, she has had a wonderful family experience in a foster home. Now this random family speaking a gibberish she’s never heard will show up to play with her...twice. Then she will go to a big city and go stay with them in an apartment. And they will speak to her but she won’t understand the words. Not because she is young...anyone who has interacted with a 1-2 year old child knows they understand much more than they can speak. She can’t understand the strange people because they keep speaking the gibberish.
These people don’t know what she likes to play. Or eat. Or her favorite way to snuggle or sleep. Her clothes are different. Everything smells different. She’s never seen these things before. They keep taking her to places she’s never been. Then...just as she is getting used to the new things...They go to a busy place with so many more people than she has ever seen and then into a small room full of seats and then something strange happens as the room moves and they are in the sky--but she doesn’t know how to understand this and the words the people speak to her don’t make sense.
And they are stuck in the room so long.
And then they are in another car and then a house and the people keep saying “home” but she doesn’t know that word yet.
Guys, I’m not painting this picture to ask for your sympathy or reassurance. I am saying this because I like to be real here and the truth is---adoption is not easy. It is not pretty. And for a toddler it is confusing and sometimes scary. When a baby is adopted she is a tiny little thing who may not know her loss until much later. When an older child is adopted, she can understand what is happening because someone has explained it. Eliana might transition beautifully and attach to us quickly and that would be a blessing. But even if she transitions well and attaches quickly--adoption begins with loss. We are so excited and cannot wait and believe this is the path God has for us. But little Eliana doesn’t even know we are coming.
Sometime soon I’m going to write up a post explaining what we anticipate the first days, weeks, and months home as a family of four to look like. Understanding what adoption will be like in these first days and weeks from Eliana’s perspective will hopefully make sense of some of the decisions we will make to help her transition peacefully into our family.
Please continue to pray for each of us! Our case is now with the US Embassy in Tbilisi, Georgia as they write the Article 5 letter, indicating that we are approved to pursue adopting this little girl. When they finish, we wait for the Interpol check and a signature. After these items are completed our case will go to a judge for review and a court date will be assigned. We are ssoooooo close!
