I know it has been a while since I posted! I know it is time to post because in the last two months I've had MANY conversations that have started like this...
"I hope its okay for me to ask....how's the 'adoption thing' going? Are you still doing that?"
So, I figure it's time to give an update. But first--Why the 10 month break?
Those of you who have been following for a while probably read the last post, Sifted. The summer of 2016 presented some serious obstacles for our adoption. We had to switch agencies ~again~, almost adopted a precious boy from Ethiopia before realizing it wasn't going to work out, and then thought we would go for a biological child only to have a miscarriage. Our family was going through several other health challenges at the time, too, and life generally felt like a total letdown.
After our miscarriage, I threw myself into my work. I love to teach and the Lord used the kids in my class last year to point me to the reality that life was already a letdown for many kids even as young as elementary school. I also realized that over the past few years our adoption (or rather, lack of adoption) had really begun to consume me.
Soooo, as the year progressed, we worked on a home study update---but took our time. We made changes (looking to adopt up to 2 kids, up to age 5), but we weren't frantic about the timeline. We got yet another immigration approval, but didn't stress about how long it would take to receive. We got everything translated~~again~~but didn't wonder how long it would take.
By the way---last time we got translations it took 9 months. This time? ONE month.
Instead of updating the blog along the way, we talked about our baby steps with family and close friends.
We are currently back to the waiting process. The state committee in Baku has told our agency that they will be working on a referral for us soon...which is probably the most promising thing that we have heard from them so far. But I can't say that the news has really made a difference in our lives. The truth is, our hope is in the Lord. If He plans to bring this adoption to completion, He will.
In January I wrote in my prayer journal, asking ~begging~ the Lord to show me how to have hope again. So many of my plans have been utterly destroyed over the years. But my hope was in those plans. My hope was in God making those plans happen for me.
A little backwards, ya know?
Somewhere along the way...without any fanfare or sign from above...somehow that hope began to live in my heart again. But my hope is different. Better. Our hope is in the Lord. In knowing that He has plans for our lives. Trusting that when Kyle and I ran into each other on the quad in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and fell in love over fried chicken and Alabama football, God knew then the obstacles we would face. God knew he would call us to an impossible adoption. God knew that my plans of three kids before age 30 would never happen. God knew the health challenges we would face. He knows the dark days that will visit us again sometime down the road.
When we first held Matthew in our arms, God knew from that first breath that Matthew would face obstacles, too. Even in his young life with his tender heart. God knew the curve balls that would come, the curve balls still ahead.
He knew when Robin first held Kyle. When my mom first held me. Our hope is in trusting that God holds the whole world. My whole world, your whole world. He holds our todays and our tomorrows.
He also holds our little one...or little ones. When a woman delivered the kids we will one day adopt, he knew the chaos that would unfold for each little life. He knows the day we will all be united!
Will we ever actually adopt from Azerbaijan? I have no idea! I HOPE so! But it is a hope anchored in the Lord...not in my plans.
I can tell you what I do know! God will build our family. There will be more kids in this big house. Kyle and I will one day look across the table at each other~~just about to reach the end of our rope in frustration~~and we will suddenly realize we are wonderfully outnumbered, just like we wanted. God loves adoption. I believe He will build our family through adoption. In His time. By His power.
