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That evening with Eliana’s foster family is such a special time that I will never forget. As usual they offered us snacks, coffee and tea. I was so thankful to hear Eliana’s foster momma be the first to call her “Eliana” and to see our sweet girl look up at hearing her new name. Her foster dad poured us each a tiny bit of Armenian brandy and made a toast, saying our family was a blessing from God to their family. Ohhhh, no. They were a blessing to us! I will forever remember and remind Eliana of the love her first family had for her as they chose to give her life and the love her foster family had for her as they selflessly cared for her for seven months. We are blessed to have known this family for a short time and I’ll thank God for them, always.
After a while we all settled together on the couch and took pictures of our two families, joined together to love the little girl at the center of it all. We said our goodbyes and made plans to be back the following day after noon to take custody of our daughter.
Of course, life often doesn’t go according to plan, so of course getting a court decree amended so the name would fit on the birth certificate wasn’t a simple matter. We spent the morning packing our luggage and preparing to leave Akhaltsikhe. The plan was to pick up Eliana and then leave town so that she wouldn’t have to transition to the guest house and then transition again to Tbilisi. Meanwhile, our facilitator was at the courthouse working to have an amendment drawn up that would change the name to read “Eliana FaithZeinab Kelley.” Three names to fit in the three boxes on the birth certificate! No easy task when the judge has gone on a two week vacation!
By around 3 pm we realized we’d gotten ahead of ourselves by packing and preparing to leave. We let the foster family know about the delay and prepared for *hopefully* one more night in the small town. Our facilitator had worked it out with another judge to have an addendum drawn up the next day so that we could be on our way.
Another dinner out, and another night of sleep. Thursday, October 11 would be our gotcha day.
Thursday was a beautiful day in Akhaltsikhe. The sky was so blue. Our bags were packed. We all went together to the courthouse to wait in the lobby for the new judge to prepare the addendum. As soon as she finished, it was delivered to us. After a quick check to ensure everything was correct, we returned to the guest house, loaded the car, and went to get our daughter.
We arrived around 1:00, nap time for Eliana. We spent just a few minutes with the foster family...going over last minute details...when she sleeps, when she eats, etc. After a few minutes our facilitator told us it was time to go. Eliana’s second momma, her foster momma, picked her up, eyes swimming, gave her a quick hug and pointed to me. She said something. All I understood was “mama.” Then she passed this precious little girl off to me. I took her outside where the foster grandmother caught up to say bye. I climbed into the car with my new daughter in my arms. Buckled my seatbelt. Waved through the window. Wiped the tears off my cheeks.
Eliana didn’t cry during the goodbye. But I think all of the adults from her foster family and forever family did.
You dream of gotcha day. During the wait, you imagine and you wish and you hope and plan. I thought we’d adopt from an orphanage and I imagined the photo we would take outside. Big smiles, hearts soaring!
Our photos from gotcha day are not what I pictured. The only photos we took were after we drove out of town and a little girl fell asleep in my arms, clutching the only familiar things she had left, a bottle and a few stuffed animals. What I pictured in my mind wasn’t real life. Real life was a sleepy little girl and some very sad adults. Gotcha day was a beautiful day. A forever family day. But it wasn’t a happy day, not really. It will always be a bittersweet day for me. That day I realized all over again that this world is so broken. So many families, so many people are broken. A child shouldn’t have to go through the transitions our little Eliana Faith Zeinab has gone through. But oh, how sweet God’s redemption plan is for this broken world. HE created this idea of adoption, of forever family, when he made a way for us to forever be HIS children, adopted. Not because of something we did, but because in our brokenness, he had compassion, mercy. He extended grace.
The trip to Tbilisi would take us about three and a half hours. Eliana woke up about an hour into the journey. She was confused, disoriented. Scared. She cried such a sad, sleepy cry. After a few minutes she settled down and went back to sleep. Later, maybe half an hour later, she whimpered, opened her eyes, and vomited all over me.
#momlife
We cleaned up as best we could and continued our trip. When we arrived at our apartment in Tbilisi, we unloaded and started to settle in. Eliana seemed to accept that her life was changing and didn’t really cry. She played with Matthew and ate some food. The crib she was supposed to sleep in broke at a touch, so we set the kids up on a pallet of blankets on the floor. That night I learned that Eliana wiggles around even more than her big brother does!
The apartment where we were to stay in Tbilisi was close to a market and a restaurant. We were able to buy food and snacks, drinks and candy whenever we needed or wanted them.
The next day was busy, with a trip to the justice building, successfully acquiring the birth certificate this time! We also had her passport photo taken and visited the mall.
With the arrival of the weekend, we had plenty of time and nothing to do. Our driver and his seven year old son picked us up for a trip to the top of a mountain where there is a park and a restaurant. We had some lunch and walked around a bit before finishing the day resting at the apartment. We decided to lay low on Sunday, too. It was a good time for us to get to know each other as a family of four, but we were already anxious to be home. It was difficult to fully relax when we weren’t in our own home! Eliana was sharing my twin sized bed at night since she rolls all over the room, otherwise! Matthew was using the other twin bed and Kyle slept on the couch. During the days we noticed that when Eliana was feeling sad, she would walk to the bedroom and gesture toward the bed. She grieved quietly, laying in bed and chewing on an empty bottle for a while. I would sit in the room with her or check on her regularly. When she felt better she would sit up and I’d carry her back to the other room.
Monday required a trip back to the Justice Building to apply for the passport. Tuesday a trip to the doctor to clear Eliana for a US visa, then a return to the Justice Building to retrieve the passport. That afternoon I emailed the embassy to let them know we were ready for a visa appointment. Wednesday was another low key day as we waited to hear back from the embassy. We visited the mall again and had a deliciously familiar meal from Wendy’s. We were thrilled when we heard back from the embassy that we would be received at the US Embassy for Eliana’s Visa appointment the following day!
The appointment to apply for Eliana’s travel visa was much more low key than I expected. We arrived at the US Embassy in Tbilisi and explained the reason for our visit, showed passports and proof of appointment, and made our way through metal detectors. We then made our way from the guard building, across a manicured lawn, and into a waiting room. The wall to our right held a line of windows and to the left a room filled with chairs. With Eliana in our arms and Matthew on his best behavior, we had a seat and waited for our names to be called. Truly, the appointment was a piece of cake! There were toys for the kids to play with and a very friendly immigration officer to help us with the process. We were questioned about our adoption process to determine if any under the table deals were involved, and then congratulated and approved! The immigration officer who handled our case told us that he loves adoption because he was also adopted into his family. We were told to return the following day for our daughter’s visa. That afternoon we went to visit an orthodox church located at the top of a mountain with a beautiful view of the countryside and city. 
Friday arrived and truly, all I remember is picking up the visa, packing, saying goodbye to our facilitator, putting the kids to bed...and waking to go to the airport in the middle of the night. I remember the immigration officer in the Tbilisi airport was confused and seemed quite angry that a family with American passports had custody of a Georgian child and was leaving the country. I remember the first flight, 2 hours to Qatar, was a nightmare. I remember Eliana’s fear was so big, so loud. She totally came apart. I remember the angry guy a few rows back yelling at us in a language I didn’t know, and the kind lady across the aisle silencing him. I remember multiple security checks in Qatar. The 14 hour flight to DC is a blur of taking yet another walk around the plane.
And then we were walking through customs. Matthew fell asleep, head on his knee sitting on the floor near baggage claim while Eliana sat patiently in my arms. Or was she in the stroller? A blur.
Then, bags in hand, we walked to the doors and our family was there with huge smiles. A stop at Chick-Fil-A, a trip home. Our daughter. Our long awaited answered prayer. Sleeping in the pack-n-play beside me.
How does He do it? How does the Lord take the brokenness of this world and make something beautiful? How does he make a family from people who do not share DNA? How does he make a such difficult years of waiting seem like nothing, as much a blur as the 14 hour plane ride?
I thank God, now. I thank him for not leaving me where I was. I thank him for allowing us to walk through fire. I’m grateful he has refined me through this six and a half year adoption, through the sickness and loss. I’m so glad that although we do live in a broken world where hard things happen regularly--he never leaves us to walk the path alone.
I believe I will see
The goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord.
Be Strong, Take Heart,
And wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14
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