Trust Falls

Kyle and I were recently asked, "What is your greatest source of joy in your life right now?  What is something joyful in your life?"

As I listened, I was kind of stumped...You see, we were still reeling from our last dose of bad news on this never ending adoption.  And in the same way my sister-in-law's head is consumed with thoughts of the sweet baby growing inside of her, in the same way she would be consumed with worry if the doctor told her something was wrong...adoption has a way of totally consuming your thoughts.  When things aren't going well...it can take over your life in a way that might push out joy.

Our bad news?

Because we are having to rebuild so much of our dossier,
Because we will have to have it translated again,
Because we will have to submit it to Azerbaijan again as if it had never been there before,
We need to pay all of the fees required by our new agency.  All of them.

They are graciously giving us a discount that we will pay back if we are able to get more money back from the old agency...but we still have to repay almost everything we have paid up to this point in our adoption journey.

When I made another fancy spreadsheet to add it all up--fees to the agency for helping us understand and navigate the process, fees to the country for their time to process and review our paperwork, translations, plane tickets, travel fees, food during travel, a place to stay in AZ, etc...

deep breath.

$60,000.

Good news...bad news.

Good news!  Through my two years working as a teacher and the donations we have received along the way, in addition to the roughly $25,000 we have already spent on this adoption, we have $39,000 saved!!!

Bad news...Raise your hand if you have heard me gushing about staying home with Matthew because we had all the money saved that we would need for the adoption?! ha. yeah.

So we are about $20,000 short.  The school year has already begun, so no easy income (not that teaching is easy...just that the paycheck is a sure thing).

Can I tell you something, though?  Kyle and I came to a conclusion in the midst of our "Holy crap, where will we find that kind of money?!?!?!"  We realized that God could have easily arranged things so that we would have learned about how much we would be re-paying back in June...July...August.  I don't believe it is a coincidence that we didn't realize until it was too late for me to find a job.

So the only conclusion we can draw is that HE plans to provide this money in some other not so obvious way.

And as I sat in that room, listening to others share about the Joy in their lives, I realized that this adoption journey IS bringing us joy.

Think of all the times God has already come through for us...providing money, encouragement, answers right when we need them.  Our joy comes from learning to trust Him more each time a rock falls in our path.  Our joy comes from growing closer to God and to each other as we navigate these dark and confusing waters.  Our joy comes from the opportunity for me to stay home for *hopefully* a few years, watching Matthew grow and learn new things.

Faith is not easy.  In fact, it is the hardest thing about following after what God has called us to.  Each trust fall is bigger, farther, than the one before it.

But you know what??  Now that we have survived the initial shock of how much money we need God to provide...we are actually excited to see how He does it.

One more thing before I let you go:
We have decided to put a cap on the puzzle fundraiser.  When our adoption started falling apart back in March, we kind of dropped the ball and lost all momentum on this fundraiser.  We think it would be best to give it until Thanksgiving Day and then we are going to fill up any empty pieces with the names of people who have already given before the puzzle fundraiser.  SO if you were planning to buy a puzzle piece and time got away from you--You have until Thanksgiving day to get us the money!!  There is a pay pal link you can use here on the blog, or you can hand us cash, or check, or mail it!

Thank you for your support through prayer and giving and especially encouraging us when we feel hopeless.  Adoption can be exhausting, and we are so so thankful for the support all of you give us so consistently.

Like the string on a balloon...

I bought a book for our little one over a year ago.  I keep it sitting in the bedroom that will one day belong to him/her (MAN I can't wait for the day I can stop saying "him/her").

This page.

This is where we are right now.  And it is HARD.

But here is the update:  We had a great visit with our social worker a couple of weeks ago.  We found out that our medicals and background checks are expired and have to be updated in order to update the home study.  We will also need new DMV records, new employment verification and a letter from the bank. whew.

We are unfortunately in a time crunch right now (adoption is all about "hurry up and wait").  Our immigration approval will expire on October 1st.  You can receive one free update/extension but you have to apply for it before the expiration.  In order to apply, you need an updated home study...and in order to get an updated home study, you need allll the paperwork I mentioned above.  Most of the items will be easy to receive in time.  The only one we are worried about is the Virginia Child Abuse Clearances...They usually take several weeks.  If we get it back soon, we will be able to apply for the extension.  If we do not receive them until after October 1st, I am pretty sure we will have to reapply for approval and pay the fee again (over $900).  Not the end of the world, but we would love to avoid that!

So, for now we are simply asking for your prayers.  Could you please pray that our clearances will arrive in time?