Faith Has Work To Do

Faith is a funny thing.

While my mind spends time running possible scenarios and telling me there is no hope and no way we will adopt this little one with the dark hair and dark eyes…

While my heart is running away with hopes and dreams and planning for that shy smile to come here and be forever home…

Faith has work to do.  And faith requires work.  Faith says, “It doesn’t matter.  Best case scenario, worst case scenario.  It is all beside the point.”

Faith says that all my wondering and wandering are meaningless because God is in control.  My mind can lay out every possible outcome and my heart can run away dreaming about the best possibilities.  But faith says simply to trust that God’s plan is just and it is good and that “He works out all things for the good of those called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Faith reminds me constantly of truth.  When I calculate for the hundredth time, the thousandth time when my dreams might come to pass, faith reminds to say “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:15).

When I wonder about the days and hours to come, faith tells me again and again “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16).

But this faith?  Where did it come from?  I haven’t been like this throughout the journey.  It has grown through trials, through stumbling, through lack of faith.  Faith has grown in my life in spite of me. Yes, I’ve had to choose faith in God through the pain of life’s circumstances.  Time after time I’ve told the Lord, “I don’t understand you, I don’t know why, but I trust you.” Faith requires work, but with a simple decision it grows exponentially! How can this be?

Tuesday Kyle spent the day in Richmond visiting the Virginia Secretary of State’s office to get all of our documents apostilled.  We met in the parking lot of my school to trade the envelope containing all of the work of the last 4 months. Matthew and I stopped by the bank for a cashier’s check then zipped over to FedEx.  The guy at the counter recognizes me by now, knows I come to mail adoption paperwork. When I placed the dossier documents on the counter, fancy gold seals shining on the front pages, he raised his eyebrows and looked at me.  “I need to mail these...they are very important.” He nodded, understanding my meaning. He put the flimsy envelope away, grabbed a small box, added the stack of documents along with packing materials and assured me it would arrive safely.  

This is the third time we have assembled and mailed a dossier.  Every time it feels like sending a small child somewhere alone, unsupervised!  Matthew and I said a quick prayer as we drove away.

Wednesday the dossier arrived at our adoption agency.  They checked everything over one last time and sent word: “Your documents are on their way to Georgia.”

And now?  We wait.

This child with the shy smile?  Maybe we will meet one day soon.  But maybe we won’t. Maybe someone else will adopt this little one--we can’t know the future.  But all the days of this little person’s life are written in God’s book. We are praying daily for this little one.  We learned that the placement has changed from orphanage to foster care….we don’t know what the implications are. But we’ve added the foster family to our prayers.  

And above all, we are thankful for the faith God has grown in us as we wait to see what the future holds.